Seniors hit the road to Splitsville
They call it ‘grey divorce’ and it happens more often than you think
We know the whole “’til death do us part” thing has long had its day. But you might be surprised to know that it’s not just the seven-year itch that causes marriages to break down.
“Grey divorce” refers to the phenomenon of older couples choosing to separate or divorce after decades together. And this trend has been on the rise, even though in many places overall divorce rates are declining.
Why break up after spending half your life, or more, together? While people can suddenly fall out of love — or there can be the involvement of a third party (yes, even at our age!) — grey divorce is more often a consequence of deeply complex reasons that have been brewing for a long time.
One significant factor contributing to grey divorce is “empty nest syndrome”. When children grow up and leave home, couples can experience a shift in dynamics.
Without the responsibilities of parenting to occupy their time and attention, partners start to realise that they have grown apart over the years. The absence of shared activities or interests can highlight incompatibilities that were easier to overlook when they were busy on the assembly line of nappy changes, school runs and family vacations.
Another factor is the desire for personal fulfillment. As people age, they reflect on their lives and, facing a ticking clock, think more about what brings them happiness and satisfaction.
If a marriage feels stifling or unfulfilling, one or both partners might decide to start a new chapter. Retirement can exacerbate these feelings, as the increased time spent together can reveal unresolved tensions or unmet needs.
Changes in societal norms and attitudes toward divorce have made it more acceptable for older adults to seek separation.
In previous generations, divorce often carried a significant social stigma, especially for older couples. Today, there is greater emphasis on individual well-being and personal growth, which encourages people to prioritise their own happiness at any stage of life.
Financial independence, particularly for women, also plays a role. Historically, women remained in unhappy marriages because they relied on a “bread winner”.
With most women now earning their own income and having access to savings, they are better equipped to make decisions based on emotional needs rather than financial imperative.
While divorce can lead to newfound freedom and opportunities for self-discovery, it also comes with challenges. Dividing assets, managing retirement funds and navigating relationships with grown children can be complex and emotionally taxing.
For many, however, the possibilities that come with flying solo outweigh the difficulties of securing separation.